They say morale is the big key to any office, but if you’ve got a bunch of stiffs who can’t take a joke, then you’re not going to have any morale.
“It’s a mixer,” I told the new intern. “Just show up around 4 o’clock.”
And when he showed up to the address, it was a mixer all right! It was an industrial strength mixer that I’d rented for the day!
“Chew on that!” I screamed.
“Uh, yeah. You sure did get me.”
“Well, turn it on already!”
“I don’t want to.”
So I turned it on, but there wasn’t anything to mix so I turned it off.
“You know, if you’re up for it,” said the intern, “A bunch of us are getting drinks across the street.”
“You are? When did you hear about that?”
“There was an email chain.”
“You should come.”
But I couldn’t. I had to get that mixer back before 7pm or else they’d charge for a whole weekend.
Later that night at dinner, I thought back to the puzzled look on the intern’s face and nearly spit ramen all over the steering wheel of my car. Some people were just born losers.